Because cash is extremely limited for me right now, I’ve been using my credit cards which, naturally, further strains my financial position. The challenge has been learning to live within means that are significantly less than what I’m used to, which I recognize is a blessing in itself. Through using my credit cards, I’ve been trying to hold on to a semblance of the comfort of my past financial position – a futile effort. God’s called me to a season of complete surrender, especially when it comes to my finances; however, in that surrender, there is financial strain for which He has graced me and financial strain for which He hasn’t. I get the feeling that for me in this season maxing out credit cards falls in the latter category because use of them is a (sub)conscious attempt to avoid, delay, or reduce the “sting” of the divinely ordained pruning, crushing, and refining.

This season has been purposed to teach me to be faithful with a little so that I am formed and prepared to be faithful with much (Luke 16:10). The limited income forces me to consider what I need, not what I want before I make a purchase and even with the things that I need, it forces me to prioritize and triage what’s most important (practical skills that are being learned in addition to the spiritual ones). If it’s something that I can’t have, it necessitates that I tap into contentment which turns my focus back to my Heavenly Father to sustain me. 

I realized that our church’s women’s bible study theme “The Myth of More” is coming alive for me. Resisting consumerism and learning to be faithful with  little puts into perspective the most important things in life and requires that I get creative with what I do have. It requires that I face the things that have stressed me out – like meal planning. No longer can I just order food when I’m exhausted as a single mom and want to avoid another mental task, especially one that requires me to figure out what my “discerning diner” of a neurodivergent kiddo will eat (if you know the struggle, then you know).  Faithfulness with little teaches me to focus on the bare necessities of life, all for the purpose of deepening my dependence on and relationship with my Father. 

God has called me to be faithful with what I have right now, not with what I don’t have. Using a credit card means using funds that I don’t have. That’s not what faithful financial stewardship looks like for me in this season because 1) it worsens my financial standing in a way that God didn’t give me permission to, 2) credit cards are finite resources that run out so using them won’t sustain me anyway, and 3) using them avoids my learning the bigger lesson – experiencing the pruning, crushing, and refining to the fullest extent possible which is meant to produce fruit in me. Plus, if I feel God calling me to surrender to and depend on Him holistically and I disobey this by using my or my mom’s credit cards even when she offers, then my disobedience puts unordained strain on her as well. It’s one thing for my decisions to impact me; it’s another thing when I allow them to knowingly impact someone else.

This season is about learning to live on what feels like less than enough but is really God’s sustained provision. I think that, ultimately, the end of my financial “runway” is the consummate surrender of my finances that this last year has likely been leading up to and potentially the most consequential test yet before receiving the financial breakthrough that God has for me on the other side (I can say this with confidence because my finances are being tested. The areas in our lives being tested are often the areas in which God will bless, magnify, or propel us. The breakthrough doesn’t have to be an insane amount of money. It could be staunch responsibility with the money that God does bring my way). 

The contentment with and faithful stewardship of what I have now will produce in me that which will lead me to breakthrough and shape me into the person who can maintain it. God can do more with my (submission of) little than I can do with trying to hold on to the illusion of more. He can stretch my little further than I ever could (read about the widow at Zarephath in 1 Kings 17). My goal is to exchange worry about provision for complete surrender to and trust in I Am – the One who is everything that I need.

Submitting what I think I need so that I can receive what I actually need and ultimately what I want seems paradoxical, but such is the Christian life. Philippians 1:21, Philippians 3:7-8, and Matthew 16:25 teach us that loss for the sake of Christ is gain. The gain comes through the submission, through the release of the illusion of control, the release of self-reliance, the release of self-preservation, and the release of comfort. In the loss, the willful submission, I tether my identity to the eternal, not to the temporal. In the words of Baloo, we “can rest at ease with just the bare necessities of life.” God takes me down to the bare necessities so that I can rest at ease knowing that He is all I need. I find out that I can live without what I thought I needed, but I can’t live without Him.

“Don’t spend your time lookin’ around for something you want that [can only] be found [in God].” 

*Cue*

“Refiner” – Maverick City Music, Steffany Gretzinger

“Greater is Coming” – Jekalyn Carr

“Bare Necessities” – Disney’s The Jungle Book 

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God takes me down to the bare necessities so that I can rest at ease knowing that He is all I need.