I started writing a book in 2020 that’s still in progress. In the beginning, I pen a note to single mothers. While very much in draft form, I thought it necessary to share it now though.
You have purpose. There is breath in your lungs and a beating heart in your chest. Even if it may seem like that breath is suffocating or that heart is impossible to mend, there is still life in your body because God is not finished with you. He has spoken a word over your life and it will accomplish all that He intends (Isa. 55:11). God is not angry with or punishing you. On the contrary, He plans to bless you in unimaginable ways because He has asked you to endure unthinkable suffering and disparities as a single mother. You will come alive again (Ezek. 37:5). He will breathe new life into you and renew your hope.
You are not to worry. Choose to believe that God has already worked it out. Completely release any anxiety about finances or your child’s well-being. Liberate yourself from the weight of thinking that you are the sole provider and recognize that it is God who provides. Your role is to trust Him. This is the only thing you need to do because it is the only thing that is in your control. Everything else is in God’s hands. He knows your needs and has endless means by which to provide them. Instead, put your energy into praising Him for what He’s already done.
There is nothing you face that will break you. That’s never God’s plan (John 3:17). He didn’t bring you this far for you to fail or feel defeated. If you’re facing it, God knows that you will be better for having encountered it: wiser, stronger, and deeper in relationship with Him. God’s power is perfected in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9) and resides in you. No tear you have cried or pain you have felt will be in vain. Your pain has been purposed for your good (Rom. 8:28). You’re going to make it through because God has ordained you to. The outcome has already been orchestrated in your favor. God knows our limits; He gave them to us, but we must remember that our limits are not His limits. God has overcome every possible adversity you could face (John 16:33). Think back to situations from which God has delivered you and in which He has comforted you – in ways completely illogical to human understanding. This time is no different and neither is He. He’s the same God that has taken you through season after season, hardship after hardship, and from glory to glory, never having left your side. Nothing can separate you from this love (Rom. 8:38-39).
Your children are entirely loved by their Creator. There is not a single ounce of love that they lack due to an absent figure. Because it is worth repeating, know that in God they have no deficiency in love. They have not been abandoned or rejected (and I rebuke those feelings with you, right here and right now). God knew them before He formed them in your womb and has always had plans to prosper them and to give them a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). They are wholly protected, covered, and kept by the love of God and He intends to have them flourish in it.
You have yet to see, think, or imagine the greatness that God has planned for your life (1 Cor. 2:9), despite what your circumstances or environment tell you. Your job isn’t to know how He’s going to bless and deliver you. It’s to believe that He will. I don’t think we could call it “greatness” as much if it didn’t seem impossible to us. That’s why I think it has to seem impossible first. I think we have to get to the point where we feel like we can’t go on so we never forget Who sustains us. If it seemed doable within our humanity, how would we truly revel in the majestic, all-power wielding hand of God? We would think it happened by our own might. Only by God’s power will it happen, and, when He plans for it to happen, there is no force that can hinder it. Allow this truth to take root in your heart and to nourish an unshakeable faith. God fulfilled His promises to Abraham because of Abraham’s unyielding faith. This faith is the key to unlocking this promise of greatness on your life. Rejoice because you know it is already yours.
The manner in which you have graciously and valiantly traversed motherhood will always be a testament to your children that they can brave any type of adversity. Know that you are doing the best that you can and that you are undeniably a strong mother to your children. They have all that they need in God, but He has blessed them to be able to experience life with you and to call you “Mom.” They lack nothing and neither do you. Your children are positioned to receive abundant blessings because God is pleased at the sacrifices you have made to command parenting alone and to steward his sons and daughters. You are fiercer than you know and more resilient than you think. Raise your head and hold it even higher. Keep your eyes fixed on God and revel in the joy of each new day shared with your children.
You are an overcomer. Don’t take this lightly. Reflect on it constantly. You are mightier than you realize. Don’t downplay what may seem like even the smallest triumphs. You’re stronger than your mind and your circumstances let on. It takes great strength to get up every morning and do what you do: work all day, at a job or jobs that may not fulfill you, to provide for your children then come home and take care of those children after already being exhausted. You do this day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. You sacrifice time for yourself to prioritize your children and their development. You cope with the financial strain of being a single mother and the anxiety it can produce that attempts to permeate all other areas of your life. You have grown emotionally despite watching your children’s father seemingly thriving (or at the least, unbothered) because he has relinquished the responsibility of being a full-time and present parent. You press through severe sleep deprivation every day to be present for your child and your full plate of responsibilities. You teach your son how to be a gentlemen and how to respect women, and fulfill the role of father and mother to him. You model for your daughter how to set standards for the way people treat her and fulfill the role of father and mother to her. You show your children that they are (w)hol(l)y loved beyond what the absence of an earthly father communicates. You are determined to grow in God despite the immense loads that you are carrying. You keep going for your children even when you feel crushed on every single side, even when life makes you feel that there is no reason to hope for brighter days. That will never be a small feat, no matter how much the world may try to diminish it. You are fearless because no coward could do what you do. You are beautiful because there is nothing ugly about the way you love and sacrifice. You are triumphant because you are still standing. The enemy tried, but he didn’t break you. Keep standing, beloved. Nothing is lost to you. Your pain and your struggle have purpose. The countless tears you have cried are not forgotten by God. He will restore everything to you 100-fold (Mark 10:30-31) and will repay you double for each of your troubles (Zech. 9:12). You are being prepared to be blessed by unfathomable measures. So, hold your head up. No more looking down or back, unless it is to see how far you’ve come.
You are fearless because no coward could do what you do. You are beautiful because there is nothing ugly about the way you love and sacrifice.
yāḏa 